Deck Clinic Guidelines v 2.0

The series on trying to use MM cards is over. Instead, it's time to bring out the real decks. That means officially re-opening the Deck Clinic. It's been a year since "Deck Clinic 0," which outlined the rules for the clinic, so here's the new version. You really need to follow these rules; otherwise, I can't offer as much help and my life is a lot harder. First, the ground rules.

1. I do NOT give out deck lists. Ever. Every few e-mails is someone who writes something like "can you please build me a good type II deck?" It doesn't work that way. If you ask for a deck list, your e-mail will be either ignored or returned with a one-line explanation; I'm tired of justifying this rule. You need to build your own decks. I'll help you with them, but they're still your decks.
2. You need to include a deck list. It doesn't have to be ideal, it just has to be the best you can make it without extensive playtesting. But I do expect you to try a few test draws, even if they're on Apprentice, to insure that your land mix is reasonable and your strategy seems to be working.
3. Specific Questions are VERY important. I need to know what the problem is before I can solve it. The more standard your deck is, the more important the questions are. In particular, one request I get a lot is "What is a good sideboard for my deck?" If you ask this question, you need to include a summary of your local metagame and which decks you feel you need sideboard help against. Sideboarding is an art, and I almost never know my exact sideboard until the day of the tournament, so don't keep bugging me to get the list to exactly 15 cards.
4. Exact formatting. I want TWO copies of any deck you give to me. One should be sent to zvi@sprintmail.com, the other to zsm3@columbia.edu. The Columbia address is the only one I can send e-mail from, so I need one there to reply to; the other address I'll need to keep track of submissions. The subject heading should be "DC: Deck Type". If the deck is not Type II, also include the type after the name in parenthesis. That's to help my tracking system. In the body of the message, I want the entire deck list first, in standard form. Then include a summary of what the deck does and any explanations I'll need. Finally, tell me what you want.
5. Any deck submitted to the Deck Clinic (as indicated by the subject heading) is fair game for me to talk about on The Dojo unless you specifically tell me not to.
6. Keep the volume reasonable. If I ever think "Not another one of HIS decks!" you're sending me too many decks.
7. My ability to comment on a format that will soon be used at a Pro Tour is minimal at best. If you have an original design and want to bring me in on the design, that's fine, but other than that you're just going to get a lot of "no comment." That's life on a professional team.

Overall, the rules have stayed basically the same. The biggest change is that now I can also be reached most days on mIRC. I frequent the rooms #mtg and #mtgpro. I use three nicks, Zvi, ZviAppr and ZviAway. If it's Zvi I'm available, if it's ZviAppr I'll get back to you when I finish the game, if it's ZviAway I'm not there or just lurking. Sometimes I forget to update it, it can't be helped. The rules on mIRC are similar to those for the Clinic. I won't normally give out deck lists, I won't work on decks unless you can give me a deck list. And skip the formalities, this is mIRC. Don't say hello, tell me what's up. Finally, if you do give me a deck for help, send a copy of the deck afterwards to zvi@sprintmail.com, in the usual format, with the note that I helped you on mIRC after the decklist and a summary of what I said. I'm human, I can forget. Finally, no, I DON'T want to play a format that's not going to be a Pro Tour format, and if I do I'll ask in #mtg.

Now, on to the strategic advice.

Cards you need to cut:

1. Exhume. I never thought I'd actually have to SAY it. But this card is starting to pop up where it doesn't belong. The Deadguys called Exhume a very "special" card in Urza's Saga, because it was the only unplayable black common in the set. Exhume is generally a very bad card for obvious reasons, but in the right situation it's excellent, since its effect is powerful. But be very careful with this card. It only belongs in decks where you're going to win on that turn or your deck is designed to reanimate some huge monster like Thorn Elemental. In particular, if you run Exhume you should not run creature removal. And just because you have creatures in your deck you expect to die or not pay echo on is not enough reason to play Exhume.
2. Basic land. People used to have a very reasonable fear of Wasteland. Now, it's been replaced by Rishadan Port. The Port doesn't care if your land is basic or not. The only thing that really cares anymore is Dust Bowl, but not many people are going to use Dust Bowl. Dust Bowl is a decent card, but it only belongs in the right kind of deck. Instead of running basic land, you can often run pain lands or creature lands or cycling lands or Rishadan Port or other weird lands for fun and profit.
3. Soul Feast. This is a great card for the Bargain deck, but in suicide black? That's ridiculous. At five mana, it's off the charts for the mana curve of many decks trying to use it. The effect is also really bad. It can't affect the board at all. It has its place in working around Worship or some other similar defense, but that's not a good enough reason to consider maindecking this. In UBC there may have been enough Replenish and a weak enough set of alternate cards for this to make sense. In Type II, it doesn't make any.
4. Trade Routes. While a solid card with good abilities, this card should not just be thrown into decks. Using it to recurse a Serra's Sanctum with your Explorations out sounds redundant to me - if you get that far you don't need it. Better to use something that can help you get started quickly. If your deck makes heavy use of the creature lands one or two of these might be OK to protect them. But that's a very long term plan and your deck has to be designed to make the game last that long. At that point, you have to be in a position where you still need it.
5. Thwart. Some decks don't care about how many lands they have in play, and outside type II there are even some reasons to want to return some islands every now and then. But in normal blue decks, not only are three islands a somewhat tall order, if you use Thwart you cripple yourself for several turns afterwards. Be very careful when putting this card into decks.

Cards you should add:

1. The Tutors. The Tutors are great. Many decks today work around one main idea, and work much better when they draw one card or a certain pair of cards. There are also more decks vulnerable to a single card than ever before, whether it is Cursed Totem, Arcane Laboratory or Light of Day. There are a ton of others as well. They don't belong in every deck, but they do belong in a lot more decks then they end up in. In fact, sore combination decks should consider splashing black or white just to run more Tutors. Even the overlooked Tutor, the Worldly one, has a larger role to play.
2. Disenchant. Because of the power of the Tutors and hoser cards I just talked about, more decks should be running a way to remove that one killer card. Anyone running Vampiric or Mystical Tutor along with white mana should have one. You don't see much white nowadays, but that's because white doesn't really have that much to offer. Also, don't go in for stupid removal like Scour, especially in the main deck, unless you're deadly scared of something, and even then use all the Disenchants first.
3. Arrest. Has no one else noticed that white has virtually absolute creature removal for 2W? Only creatures with non-activated effects continue to do anything. How many of them are there? I can't think of a top-level one right now. It can't stop Rector, but it's still better removal than killing it.
4. Gamble. The Tutors aren't used as much as they should be, but they're respected. Gamble isn't. Most of the time you see it only in decks where someone has already cleared the way. Playing Sneak Attack? It's accepted that you Gamble. But Gamble's card economy effect is the same as a Tutor, and while it will take out the card you Gambled for sometimes it's even better than a Tutor when it doesn't. Sure, sometimes it hits a land, but that's no different from not drawing land off the top because you're tutoring. Later on, in fact, you'll know you don't want that junk in your hand, which is where the extra benefits come in.
5. Rishadan Port. Often decks play way too much colored land. If you're not running multiple colors, that gives you the flexibility to use a lot of colorless lands, and you shouldn't hesitate to abuse it. The first one you reach for should almost always be Rishadan Port. A mono-black Bargain deck (which is not something I think is a particularly good idea right now) should certainly use four of these.

Flores tells me that the list of numbers at the end of Deck Clinic 0 was really important, and I agree they were a very helpful guide. Here's the original, for old time's sake:

1. Number of cards useless against a creatureless deck
2. Number of cards a counter deck has to stop to break up your deck
3. Number of turns you need for the goldfish kill
4. Number of cards useful if you can't attack
5. Number of ways to break up Worship or Pariah
6. Number of ways to break up a Spike Weaver, Wall of Blossoms and Tradewind Rider
7. Number of lands you need to operate properly
8. Number of cards your deck effectively has (not counting cheap cantrips)
9. Number of first turn plays
10. Number of Tolarian Academy decks you'll be playing in the next tournament

Now, here's a new set for a year later:

1. Number of non-cycling cards useless against a creatureless deck
2. Number of cards a counter deck has to stop to break up your deck
3. Number of turns you need for the goldfish kill
4. Your Fundamental Turn (sometimes, but not always, the same as #3)
5. Number of cards useful if you can't attack
6. Number of ways to break up Worship (or Pariah)
7. Number of ways to remove Masticore
8. Number of lands you need to operate properly
9. Number of first turn plays
10. Number of cards your deck effectively has
11. Number of Bargain decks you'll be playing in the next tournament

Interesting to note the ways the game has changed since then, and the ways it's stayed the same. Your concerns are still basically the same. Some of them are now less important, especially the attack phase being shut down, but they're still important. Masticore is important enough to be worth an entire question. Bargain has replaced Academy, although it's apparently not at the same level -- at least not yet.

-Zvi Mowshowitz

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